“Eating out is just an opportunity to pay for bad service”

That was my quip to myself this morning. The cashier who came to take my order after I was totally ignored for two minutes twice asked “Can you repeat that”. I repeated it twice, “black coffee please”, only to realize she was talking to someone at the drive-through while standing right in front of me and looking at me. I walked away.

The real quandary for me is what to do with these “hot takes”. They usually come in flash. They’re usually negative. They bite. They probably don’t lift anybody up, solve any problems or make the world a better place, but they are often the most witty things I ever utter.

So bury them and move on? Share them? The world is full of quotes from wits like those from Mark Twain that bite. I’m glad he didn’t bury them.

I think the real value is in looking at them to see what they reveal about myself. In this case that I have an expectation of service at restaurants, that I am deeply annoyed at someone who appears to be giving me their attention but allows them self to be distracted by something else (phones…), that I value “presence” and actual personal, one-to-one human interaction and that, deep down, I have sympathy for people caught in low-paying jobs that force them to act a part of a machine. I resent the machine.

There is sometimes danger seeing a universal truth in an individual instance or maxim. Should I just stop going to all restaurants? I’m already partly on this path. A group of my friends and my wife meet regularly for dinner at IHOP. I don’t go, in part because I’ve formed an opinion over 30 or 40 years that service at IHOP is universally bad. I just refuse to go there. I’m sure this was behind my sarcastic epiphany.

So what to do instead? For a while now when people suggest getting together at a restaurant I just invite them over. Being at home is more personal. The connections made there seem to be warmer. People stay longer. We talk more. I’m not worried about the artificial expectations of interacting with waiters, cashiers, the cost of the food or interacting with people who in their jobs are forced to be part of a machine. Many times it is not practical to invite people over or they choose not to come, but when it is an option and it works it is far better.

“Don’t eat out” is the negative conclusion. “Invite people over” is the positive spin. And in both cases, I think I’ve re-learned that what I value is authentic human interaction.

So what to do with the quips when they come? Write them down. Often the original, raw form is the best. Try not to blurt them out in the instant. They are often deeply sarcastic. Sleep on it. See what they tell me about myself and try to find positive directions to take based on what I learn.